Let's Recap

I just came off a company-paid trip to Florida for a multi-region I.T. meeting. That’s one of the perks I will miss most of all – expense accounts. If corporate America has anything going for it, it’s the fact that it has copious amounts of money to enjoy some pretty damn good things. 5 days and 4 nights in a beachfront Hilton, with airfare, meals, cool gadgets and tons of booze all paid for.

On the tons of booze note, I sometimes think it serves one of two purposes:

1 – It numbs people during the time they must socialize so they don’t realize how much they Don’t know each other, don’t like each other or how little they have in common

2 – It serves as a catalyst to get people to open up and feel comfortable expressing themselves to one another in ways that the usual business environment has worked so hard to stifle

Much of my free time was spent with my girlfriend discussing – often arguing – the pros and cons of leaving sooner rather than later. The long and the short of it – I’m scared. Scared shitless to jump from this comfort zone in which I am barely challenged, rarely pushed and hardly rattled on any given day.

This is my leap to make, my journey, my decision; it has to happen in my time. The timelines and scenarios of other people do not feel genuine to me, and no amount of coaxing, persuading, logical (or illogical) thinking is going to change that. I usually don’t try to stick Too hard to a plan, but I also know I’ve not listened to my gut in the past and it has bitten me in the ass. I envy those who can just up and change something on a dime without concern for the repercussions. They seem to lack a fear of the unknown. For them, closure is no biggie. “Take care and don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” is their cry.

It impresses me, probably because I have a hard time doing it. And what makes me really sad is that I used to be a more ‘in the moment,’ ‘let the chips fall where they may,’ ‘throw caution to the wind’ kinda guy. I think the day in, day out routine of this job killed some of that – or knocked it unconscious, anyway. That right there is reason enough to make a change, eh?