Holy $%&# - I Can Meditate

I have never been good at meditation. My mind simply won’t shut off. The whole “clear your mind” thing? You might as well ask O.J. to fess up.

Yeah, I said it.

So you can imagine my response when, while we were staying with Brighid’s friends outside Vancouver, our hostess asked if I would like to try a one-hour sitting meditation at 5:00 A.M. the first morning I was there. My instinct was to decline gracefully. Why waste both our time? I already knew what would happen – I’d sit down, try to focus on nothing, have a mind full of information and movie quotes, grow frustrated and just get one step closer to the Looney Bin.

And yet, I agreed to try it because, well, why not?

When 5:00 A.M. arrived yesterday and we joined our hostess for the meditation session, I was in no mood to make good on my promise to try. I think I uttered something profane but it’s no use guessing at a fog now. And as I wrapped myself in a blanket and sat on a tiny floor-level chair; I crossed my legs, closed my eyes and prayed to both God and Buddah that this would be over soon.

Longest… Hour… Of… My… Life.

But damn was it cool! I never successfully cleared my mind, but there were times during that hour that I felt a tremendous sense of calm, peace and tranquility. I also felt tension, heat and a desire to vomit, but I think that was a visceral reaction from my body to voluntarily staying still for such an extended period of time.

I hardly moved an inch, dear friends. I think I adjusted my legs slightly to accommodate blood flow and alleviate touches of pain, but other than that, I was like stone and triumphantly made it through the exercise and really felt a lot better for it.

Did I achieve enlightenment? Hell no. For me, the peace and benefit of meditation comes afterward; from knowing that I did it. It seldom comes in the actual doing of it.

Throughout the session, we were being taught to focus on the nostrils and upper-lip area of the face. I tried to, but it always felt as though that condensed area of my face was about six inches in front of the rest of my face; or off to one of the sides. That’s about as good as I can explain it but apparently, it’s a huge step in the world of mediation.

Next up may be some Reiki (pronounced RAY-kee). One step at a time, though, eh?