Human Being vs. Human Doing

Remember that 3 day mini-retreat I told you about a few posts back? Yeah, well I finally got around to it. I bought a brand new notebook; made sure my pen had plenty of ink, turned off my sources of input and connection for 72 hours and tried to just be with myself.

Barring some minor interruptions, I am happy to announce a difficult success! The first two days drove me absolutely batty. It was very easy to shun responsibilities to anyone and anything outside of my front door. Hell, it was most welcome. But when I was forced to just sit in my house surrounded by a gargantuan pile of laundry, a desk so covered in paper and mail it was a fire hazard, and floors that were in profound need of cleaning, it was hard not to jump in to a mode of “doing” and clean the hell out of my house. On top of that, this experiment in fear coincided with Katrina and not keeping up with something That monumental almost had me break out in a rash.

It took much restraint not to peek in on the news and to not tend to the mile-long task list of life; the things that I have always wanted to get to “when I had time.” I mean, I had 72 hours at my disposal. But that would have totally defeated the purpose and kept me from writing 40 pages worth of mental ramblings, reflections, and “a-ha” moments.

The process really did not become fun until the third day, and I suspect much of that has to do with my decision to start the day with 7:00 AM Mass at the local church. That whole experience sort of set the tone for the day. In fact, at the end of the day, when I knew it was all over, I partly wanted there to be 2 more days tacked on to see where I would go from there.

It was a great experience and I can honestly say I am not directly closer to finding my next calling in life, but rather in a better state of being open to finding it in whatever way I need to. It helped re-focus my energy on the idea of this being a fun adventure that very few get, or allow themselves, to take. It didn’t do much to diminish the fear but it certainly added to excitement, hope and eagerness.

I hope to be able to devote more time to this space now that the play is over. One of my next stops is to a web site hosted by a man who is starting a Strength Revolution – forget focusing on what we all lack or “need improvement on” in the workplace. Let’s focus and enhance our strengths; those things at which we are naturally good, excited about and eager to do in the day. Sounds like a great idea to me.