I Love It When A Plan Comes Together Pt. II...

In April I wrote about the joy I felt over the fruition of a two and a half month plan for CDB’s involvement in a city-wide arts festival. Many of my strengths were tapped and I was working with people who were in positions that played to strengths. We had a long range goal comprising a slew of aspects and angles and working together we experienced success.

I know that I want to continue working in that kind of capacity, a project manager of sorts leading a team of people towards a distant goal and in the process, using the various talents I know I have. Oh, and I want to do it within an organization about which I am passionate. I really don’t think I’m asking for too much here.

And apparently the Almighty does not either; unless this is some cruel trick. I recently proposed to MKP Chicago that I would like to work in a development type of capacity – fund raising, enrollment, marketing, involvement, financial stability, etc. – and would take up the task of grant writing with the intention of those grants covering my salary.

Just writing it feels grandiose. I have been with this organization for a mere year and a half. Who am I to step in and do something like this? And then I remember the over-quoted poem by Marianne Williamson:

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Why note quote it again? It’s true. And with that in mind I proposed my idea and as God would have it, there is already someone in the community who has come up with a plan to do everything I was proposing and more. His employer specializes in this type of non-profit advancement and the knowledge he brings to the table is incredible. I was encouraged to meet with him, exchange ideas and determine if collaboration was a good fit and it is. I try not to question the ways in which the Universe provides and just accept it but that’s a tall order for someone who loves analysis.

The possibility of this coming to fruition is very likely but due to the way grants work and the timing right now, it probably won’t start until next year. I have a lot of fears around this and they are all ego based and come down to the same bottom line: fear of failure in a public way in a large community of which I am a part.